The Questions to Ask Before You Decide
If you’re reading this, you’re likely at a point where things feel serious.
You may be exhausted.
You may be unsure if it’s “the right time.”
You may just want to know you’re doing the right thing.
Choosing dementia care is one of the biggest decisions a family can make. And while there’s a lot of information available, what you really need are the right questions.
Below is a practical guide to help you assess your options, with clarity and confidence. At Videri we believe choosing care should feel informed, not rushed – and centred on the person, not just the diagnosis.
1. What Type of Dementia Care Is Actually Needed?
There are different types of dementia support, including:
- Residential care (support with daily living)
- Nursing care (higher clinical needs with 24/7 registered nurses)
- Permanent stay options
- Short-term or respite care
The right level depends on your loved one’s needs and how those needs may change over time.
Ask:
- Do you support people through all stages of dementia?
- Can care adapt as needs increase?
- Is respite available if we need flexibility?
A care needs assessment can help clarify this. But beyond the assessment, you want to know that the provider truly understands dementia, not just aged care.
2. Does It Feel Like Home – Or Like a Facility?
Environment matters more than many families realise.
Ask yourself:
- Would my loved one feel comfortable here?
- Does it feel calm, familiar and lived in?
- Are kitchens used? Are people gathered naturally?
Many large facilities try to create a “home-like” atmosphere. Look closely at whether it truly feels like home or whether it still operates like an institution.
Familiar surroundings reduce confusion, routine builds confidence and belonging reduces distress.
3. How Well Do They Get to Know the Person?
This is one of the most important questions.
Ask:
- How do you learn about someone’s life, preferences and routines?
- How is that information used in daily care?
- How do you respond when behaviour changes?
Dementia care should never begin and end with medical charts. The provider should be genuinely interested in who your loved one is and how that shapes their day.
If someone has always loved music, movement, gardening or conversation, how is that reflected? The best dementia care doesn’t just collect information about someone’s past, it uses it to shape their day.
4. Is Care Consistent – Or Constantly Rotating?
Consistency builds trust.
Dementia can make change feel disorienting. That’s why stability in the team matters.
Ask:
- Is there a core team who regularly supports residents?
- How does the team communicate about my loved one’s needs?
- Who do I contact if I have a question?
- How are families updated?
While care is often delivered by a team, you should feel confident that the people supporting your loved one know them well – their routines, preferences, and what helps them feel calm and secure.
Frequent staff turnover or heavy reliance on agency workers can feel unsettling for residents and families.
Look for a model where:
- Teams are stable
- Information is shared clearly
- Communication is proactive
- You know who to call
Strong teamwork, with clear accountability and open communication creates continuity. And continuity builds confidence.
5. How Are Medical Needs Managed?
As dementia progresses, needs can change – sometimes gradually, sometimes quickly.
It’s important to understand how a provider monitors health and responds if something shifts.
You might ask:
- How do you notice and respond to changes in health or behaviour?
- How are medications managed and reviewed?
- What medical professionals are involved in care?
- What happens if additional support is required?
- How are families kept informed?
Dementia care isn’t just about daily routines. It also requires awareness, coordination and experience. The right environment should feel calm and homely – not clinical, while still giving you confidence that health needs are carefully managed.
You want to know that:
- The team is trained to recognise changes early
- There are clear pathways to medical support if needed
- Medication is handled safely and consistently
- Communication with families is proactive
Great care doesn’t feel like a hospital. It feels safe, steady and well-coordinated.
6. What Does a Typical Day Actually Look Like?
Life should not stop when care begins.
Ask:
- What does a day-in-the-life look like?
- Are activities personalised?
- Are residents encouraged to stay active?
- Do staff sit and engage, or just supervise?
Meaningful engagement matters. The right environment will encourage participation in daily life – cooking, walking, conversation, music.
Look for care that builds days around what still brings joy and meaning – not just around a timetable.
7. How Are Families Supported?
Dementia affects everyone.
Ask:
- Can family visit freely?
- How are updates shared?
- Is there emotional support for families?
- Who do I call if I’m worried?
You should feel included, not peripheral. The right provider helps families return to being daughters, sons and partners again – not just carers.
8. What Are the Costs – And Are They Clear?
Clarity reduces anxiety.
Ask:
- What is included in the fees?
- What funding options are available (NDIS, Support at Home, private pay)?
- Are deposits required?
- How often are fees reviewed?
Financial transparency is part of trust.
Trust the Questions — And Trust Your Instincts
Above all, notice how you feel when you visit.
- Do staff speak respectfully?
- Are residents engaged?
- Does it feel calm?
- Does it feel safe?
The right decision is not just logical, it should feel aligned.
Choosing dementia care is not about giving up.
It’s about ensuring the next chapter is safe, supported and dignified.
If you would like to talk through any of these questions with our team, we’re here to help you think it through – without pressure.
