Authored by Tamar Krebs, Founder and Chief Experience Officer, Videri Australia
At Videri, we use the term support partner to describe that person walking alongside. Why? Because “carer” or “care partner” can sometimes unintentionally eclipse the dignity and agency of the person living with the diagnosis. Most people with dementia will tell you: “I don’t want to be cared for, I want to be supported.” This distinction matters. It honours their identity, their strengths, and their continued role as active participants in their own lives.
The Hidden Diagnosis: Support Partner Fatigue
The numbers are sobering. According to Dementia Australia, 65% of primary support partners experience high or very high levels of psychological distress. Nearly half report symptoms consistent with clinical depression. Support partners are also twice as likely to experience chronic physical health issues themselves, a ripple effect of long hours, poor sleep, and constant vigilance.
A Dementia Doula once wrote: “When one person receives a diagnosis, two hearts start beating differently.” That truth is borne out in the data: support partner fatigue is not incidental, it is predictable. Which means our response must also be predictable. It must be planned, compassionate, and systemic.
Living with a Chronic Diagnosis – Together
Living with dementia or any chronic condition is a marathon, not a sprint. For the person diagnosed, there are daily reckonings: memory shifts, changing identity, fear of loss. For the support partner, there are the parallel reckonings: uncertainty about the future, financial strain, and the quiet loneliness of watching someone you love slowly change.
But while they walk together, each has their own path. Their needs are not interchangeable. The person living with dementia may need support to flourish, to hold onto autonomy, to experience purpose. The support partner may need rest, respite, peer connection, and permission to say: “I matter too.”
Seeing Both, Supporting Both
At Videri, we believe that true care means diagnosing the dyad. It means asking, at every assessment, not only “How is the person living with dementia?” but also “How is the support partner walking alongside them?”.
At Videri, we walk with the dyad. Because when we do dementia differently, we remember that no one walks this road alone.
Contact us to learn more or speak to our team.
