Key Takeaways
Incontinence is a common experience at all stages of dementia. It may be caused by difficulty recognising the urge to go, trouble communicating needs, the effects of medication, existing health conditions, or mobility changes. Whatever the cause, it does not define the person. That’s why, at every stage, we focus on preserving dignity and offering support that respects each person’s comfort, privacy, and humanity.
Let them participate
When supporting someone living with dementia and incontinence, involvement and autonomy matter. Wherever possible, encourage them to participate in their own toileting routine. Whether that means choosing when to go, how they’d like to be supported, or selecting the clothing and continence aids they feel most comfortable with. Talk through each step as you go, using calm, reassuring language. Sudden changes, like removing disposable underwear without warning or swapping garments without explanation, can be distressing and even feel threatening. By slowing down, involving them in decisions, and maintaining familiar routines, you help protect their dignity and sense of control.
Keep a routine
A regular daily routine supports not just meals and movement, but also toileting. For someone living with dementia and incontinence, a predictable structure can ease anxiety and provide a sense of comfort. Gentle, familiar cues throughout the day, like handwashing before meals, visiting the toilet at set intervals, or brushing teeth before bed, can help build reassuring patterns. These small, repeated actions make daily life feel more familiar and manageable, while supporting dignity and independence.
Break down the tasks
Things are always easier when you break them into smaller steps. The same is true of toileting for someone with dementia and incontinence. Simply offer gentle guidance along the way, discussing each step of the routine, and always let them do it themselves as much as possible. With your instruction and help, a person with dementia may be able to keep doing more for themselves in the bathroom for a longer time than you’d think.
Is it time for you to learn more about the
dementia care we offer?
Respect their privacy
Though you probably need to provide assistance up to a certain point, you should also protect the privacy of a person with dementia as much as possible. Though you may need to keep the door to the bathroom open so that a person with dementia knows where it is, close it if possible, even if you’re in there with them. Maintaining normalcy is crucial, even if your loved one doesn’t demand privacy.
Maintain their appearance
A key part of taking care of yourself in the bathroom is maintaining your appearance. The same is true of a person with dementia and incontinence. It’s also true that maintaining a person’s appearance may sometimes fall to the wayside for carers. However, when you encourage a loved one with dementia to take pride in their appearance, it gives them a fine motor skill-boosting activity that they want to do. Applying mascara, shaving, or styling facial hair, even under strict and careful supervision, helps anyone maintain and develop the skills they need to continue performing self-care tasks independently. So, take the time to help a person with dementia to maintain their look in the same way they have always done.
Be clear
When helping someone with dementia and incontinence, always be clear about what you are doing. Don’t display any extreme facial expressions or do any sudden movements that may be upsetting or confusing. Don’t crowd them out or stand over them, since this may be intimidating or disconcerting. Keep plenty of time for toileting, and remove background noise and other distractions. Don’t speak on the person’s behalf – listen to them, and let them know what’s going on. Give them the chance to communicate how they are feeling. Also, refrain from asking excessive questions. Instead, try giving options or asking yes-or-no questions.
Use continence aids
If you needed something to improve your quality of life, you would hopefully have no qualms about going ahead and using what you need. So why be apprehensive about your loved one starting to use continence aids?
Pads and pants, whether disposable or reusable, easy-remove options will help make things easier. A commode or urinal can also be a good option if mobility issues make frequent trips to a toilet in another room difficult. However, don’t just start using these helpful tools without saying anything. Always involve your loved one in the process. Ask them if they think disposable pants, incontinence pads, or underwear that is easier to open is a good idea. Tell your loved one where you are going to leave incontinence aids and devices – as always, the items should be clearly labelled and visible.
If you’re ready to contact us to learn more about
permanent care,
respite care, or short-stay care or simply to find out more, please do so today.
