Key Takeaways
- Connection first: Notice and join your loved one’s feelings before beginning a task.
- Active communication: Take time to have regular, intentional family conversations about needs, emotions, and family goals.
- Keep communication simple: Use short sentences, simple words, and one clear question at a time.
- Use active listening: Give your loved one full attention, maintain eye contact, and allow them extra time to respond.
- Nonverbal cues: Watch your loved one’s body language and use gentle touch, if they welcome it, to reassure and comfort.
- Avoid arguing or correcting: Don’t insist on facts. Redirect, reassure, and offer alternative distraction instead.
- Focus on feelings, not facts: Respond to the emotion behind your loved one’s words with calm, empathy, and warmth.
- Have a family ritual: Create simple, regular family activities that you can all share.
- Reminisce together: Use photos, music, and stories from the past to spark joy and connection.
- Simple meaningful tasks: Involve your loved one in everyday tasks that give purpose and a sense of belonging.
- Individual support: Check in with each family member regularly and offer emotional and practical help.
- Adapt to change: Stay flexible as care needs shift and respect everyone’s changing roles.
- Have regular family meetings: Meet regularly to share updates, divide responsibilities, and make care decisions.
- Connect with technology: Use video calls and messaging to keep even distant family members involved.
When your loved one is diagnosed with dementia, of course, it’s important to focus on keeping them healthy and their memory active. But what’s equally as important is a focus on emotional connection. Sure, the way your loved one processes information has now changed. But they still have the same need for love and belonging.
Communication
Connection first
Engage with your loved one by noticing their feelings and joining their world before you proceed with any tasks, to build calmness and trust.
Active communication
Whether your loved one is living at home or in care with a permanent stay, it’s a good idea to communicate actively as a family to stay connected. This means scheduling regular relationship check-ins where you have open, intentional conversations, focusing on needs, feelings, and shared family goals.
Keep communication simple
Verbal communication can start to become more difficult for people living with dementia. As this happens, your family should change their approach. Try to keep communication simple with short, clear sentences and simple words. It’s best to ask one question at a time. Yes/no questions or offering simple choices is also a good way to communicate more effectively.
Use active listening
When you’re having a conversation with your loved one, be sure to give them your full attention. You should also maintain eye contact and give them plenty of time to respond. Try not to interrupt or finish their sentences.
Nonverbal cues
Pay attention to your loved one’s nonverbal cues, like their facial expressions and body language. Use of gentle touch, if your loved one welcomes it, is a good way to convey reassurance and affection when words are confusing.
Avoid arguing or correcting
There’s no need to unnecessarily upset a person with dementia by reminding them of distressing news like certain relatives being deceased or them no longer having their previous career or home. If your loved one keeps talking about wanting to visit a shop that has shut down or a hairdresser that has moved, try directing the conversation to what they plan to buy there or what they’d like to get done. If your loved one is insisting on going out to a certain place, try redirecting them by asking them if they can help you to do something like folding the laundry first. You could even help your loved one complete what they want to do at home, styling their hair, or bringing them the item they want.
Focus on feelings, not facts
Having a conversation gets more difficult as dementia progresses. A person might find themselves repeating information several times a day, or even several times during the same conversation. This can become confusing and scary for your loved one, as they realise they’re forgetting things. The main thing they’ll remember is how they feel. So, always try to respond to your loved one with comfort, empathy, and a calm, positive tone.
Building connection
Have a family ritual
It’s important to have at least one thing you do as a family. You could have family movie nights, share favourite meals together, or play board games together. Whatever you choose, take the time to be fully present and responsive in each other’s company.
Reminisce together
People living with dementia love to look back on cherished memories. Of course, looking through old photo albums of family memories together is a good option. Photo albums are a great way to recall long-term memories, which stay accessible longer than short-term ones. You can also listen to music from your loved one’s youth, across genres. Sharing stories from the past is another way to reminisce. You could go to a support group or meetup to do this.
Simple but meaningful tasks
There are so many tasks you can do with your loved one around the home that bring meaning and purpose to life. Folding towels, watering plants, and even setting the table aren’t just chores to complete, they’re important tasks that connect you to the members of your family and household. So, let your loved one enjoy the process of completing tasks that help them remember who sits where or who uses which towel, for example. No matter how long these tasks take, they give the day-to-day meaning.
Adapting and supporting
Individual support
Take time to interact with each member of your family, offering them help and acknowledging their struggles. It might be worth looking into additional support that benefits both you, your family and your loved one, like short term flexible respite.
Adapt to change
As life changes, and your loved one needs different care services, be flexible and go with the flow. Respect each other’s journeys. Everyone walks this path differently.
Have regular family meetings
Whether you live together or far apart, it’s easy to become too busy to get together even once a week. That’s why a regular family meeting, wherever you all are at the time, is a great idea. The family can divide support responsibilities and make decisions together, even if they have to use Zoom or FaceTime. You can also simply take this time to share updates and news.
Connect with technology
Technology doesn’t have to divide us. If you have distant family or family who can’t be there, stay connected by utilising video calls through FaceTime and WhatsApp.
We’re committed to supporting families and caregivers through the dementia journey with our range of dementia care services dedicated to doing dementia differently. Contact us to find out how we can help you.
